It’s been over a month of lockdown in the country I live in. Adjusting to every single day that goes by has been quite the journey, a journey that makes you look at life in a way you didn’t think to look before. Who would’ve thought that we’d need a pandemic to start looking at different perspectives.
It’s a rough time for all of us. With everything coming to an abrupt end, making changes hasn’t come easy. Especially for those who are so accustomed to a specific routine. Whether it’s working from home for jobs that we’d travel to everyday, online classes so that the process of education still continues, whatever it may be, making changes to adapt to something new has been hard. But it’s also shown us our capabilities to adapting to these changes.
The way we’re adapting to all these sudden changes shows us one thing. That as humans, we’re capable of adjusting to a lot. We just never realise our own capabilities like we should. And it does bring out the question, how much do we actually know our own selves?
We’ve all had moments where we did something and then thought to ourselves, “I didn’t think I was capable of doing something like that”. And in that moment there’s a little spark of joy on this new discovery of ourselves.
To be completely self aware is impossible in a way. In the entirety of our lives, however long it may be, we’re going to be thrown into different experiences that may be good or bad which will eventually keep shaping us in different ways. Throughout these times we’ll learn more about ourselves, you can say it’s a continuous journey.
But keep in mind, getting to know yourself isn’t always a joyride. We all have some unpleasant traits within us which we either aren’t completely aware of or choose not to acknowledge it the way we should.
For me it has been getting to know how less I value myself. Having a positive outlook towards myself is something I’ve never really done. I never thought of it as something important because for me, valuing the people I care about was more of a priority. I never realised that sometimes instead of putting others before me, I needed to put myself first too. This made accepting myself extremely hard and there are still moments where I’ll find myself being extra critical of myself. More than I need to be and that leads to a long period of me being in a pit of despair.
It’s a struggle but knowing this has given me a chance to try and work on this. To be a little easier on myself from time to time. To be more accepting of myself instead of always trying to change things that don’t need to be changed.
Becoming self aware isn’t something we should rush, but at the same thing it’s something we shouldn’t ignore either. It’s important that we take time to reflect on ourselves and get to know ourselves better. Because in the end we’re our only constants. We shouldn’t end up being strangers to our own selves.